Because July was a plot twist, and I’m just trying to keep up.

July is weird. Like, really weird. It’s the halfway mark of the year and my 4-year uterine cancerversary. It’s the kind of month that makes you pause mid-toast and think “What the hell happened to all my Goals?”

Last year, I set new goals for the new year, like I normally do. I was full of big goals, and bigger delusions. Reading more, getting stronger, losing weight (because duh, that’s always on the list) and spending more time with my people. You know all the wholesome crap you write in a journal after being motivated. Then bam, surprise lung tumor. Everything screeched to a halt like a toddler spotting a rogue skittle under the couch.

But here’s the twist: even with the chaos, the blood work, the surgeries, and the never-ending scanxiety.. I’m realizing I’ve actually hit a lot of those goals. I’ve been reading more (okay, maybe trauma healing books, and a random dip into the Bible-who even am I?). I’ve lost weight, slowly and stubbornly. I’ve had more quality time with my family. Even if “date night” means my husband reads me food labels in the aisle of the grocery, because I forgot my glasses. Again.

Time with my daughter looks like kitchen chats and her flopping onto my bed while I work, just to talk about her day. That might not be Pinterest-worthy, but it’s real. And honestly? That’s everything.

This whole getting-sick-again detour forced me to pull so much off the back burner that I’d just left simmering. Like joy. Boundaries. Actual rest. Who knew those were even options? My healing didn’t go the route I expected (shocking, I know), but it’s taking me somewhere better. Not easier, but better.

I’m still struggling to move my body the way I want. Getting up out of bed? Still a whole event. Going from sitting to standing? Yeah, that’s a joint committee decision between my spine, ribs and sheer willpower. But Yoga helps- a lot. Mentally, emotionally, spiritually? I’m leaps and bounds ahead of where I thought I’d be. I didn’t even know that kind of peace was on the list, but here we are.

Right now, I’m still finding balance. Still healing. Still telling my clients, “No, I can’t take on a full week yet. Unless you want me crawling to your shampoo bowl like a wounded raccoon.”

But I’m excited. Excite for the second half of this wild year. Because last December 26th? My world cracked open. This December 26th? I want to look back and say, “Damn, look at what I gained.” (No, not weight. Though let’s be real, that fluctuates too.). I’m talking about self-love. Self-worth. Self-respect. And having the absolute audacity to say, “I deserve to feel this good.”

So if you’ve been beating yourself up over the goals you haven’t met yet-pause. You still have six months left to shock yourself. I’m all in. Are you?

Let’s freaking go.