Legal Crap

Because apparently, Chaos needs rules.

Privacy Policy

Welcome to Stretchy Pants & Strong Tea (the “Site”).  This Privacy Policy explains how we collect, use, and protect your personal information. This occurs when you visit our blog, subscribe to our email list, or interact with us in other ways.  Spoiler alert:  we’re not spying on you. However, we do need to keep a few digital receipts. These help us keep this zebra show running.

  1.  Information We Collect
    • Personal information you voluntarily provide (like your name, email and comments).
    • Automatically collected data (IP address, browser type, pages visited).
    • Cookies and tracking pixels for analytics and marketing.
  2. How we use your information
    • To send you occasional emails (only the good stuff, we promise).
    • To improve the site and your experience.
    • To prevent bots and trolls from invading our digital zebra den.
  3. Sharing your information:
    • We don’t sell your data.  Period
    • We may share anonymized data with third-party tools to keep the lights on.
  4. Your rights:
    • Unsubscribe anytime.  We won’t take it personally (okay, maybe a little).
    • Request to see what info we have on you or ask us to delete it.
  5. Contact us:
    • Questions?  Email us at stretchypantsandstrongtea@gmail.com we promise not to send you a cookie recipe in response (unless you want one).

 Terms and Condition:

Welcome to Stretchy Pants and Strong Tea! If you’re here,  you’re either really bored or. you accidentally clicked the wrong link. Either way, let’s set some ground rules.

  1. Use of Content
    • Everything here is my own chaotic, zebra-loving brainchild.  Feel free to share, but give credit where credit is due.
    • Don’t steal my stuff or pass it off as your own, or I’ll send my imaginary zebra to throat-punch you.
  2. Limitation of Liability
    • I’m not responsible if you laugh so hard you spit out your tea, pull a muscle or snort a grain-free chip.
    • Not responsible for typos, bad jokes, or unintended emotional breakdowns.
  3. External Links
    • I link to other sites I like, but I’m not responsible for what you find there.  Proceed at your own risk.

Disclaimer:

  • I’m not a doctor, therapist, nutritionist, or anyone with a medical degree.  I’m just a person trying to heal my own broken parts and maybe make you laugh in the process.
  • My posts are for entertainment and information purposes only.  They are not a substitute for professional medical advice, diagnosis, or treatment.
  • If you decide to follow any of my questionable advice, that’s on you, friend.

Affiliate Disclosure:

  • Occasionally, I might recommend products I love.  If. you click a link and buy something, I might make a small commission (so I can keep buying stretchy pants).  Don’t worry, it doesn’t cost you extra.

Cookie Policy:

  • Yep, we use cookies.  No, not the delicious kind.  Just the digital crumbs that track your visits to the site.
  • You can disable cookies in your browser settings, but the site might not work as well (and you might miss out on the fun).

Comment Policy:

  • Be nice or be gone.  This is a zebra-friendly zone.
  • Spam, hate speech, or unsolicited medical advice will be deleted faster than I can polish off a dark chocolate bar.

Copyright notice:

  • Everything on this site is my original work (unless otherwise credited).  If you want to share it, awesome, but please link back to the source.

Thanks for being here, and may your tea always be strong and your pants forever stretchy.