Because My Night Sweats, Hormone Hijinks, and Yoga Mat Speak Louder Than Any Doctor- Strong Tea Required.

These last couple of weeks have been super challenging for me. Not just physically-trying to move my body again after surgery-but mentally, it’s been a total shitshow. Don’t you hate when you constantly second-guess yourself? When you don’t know which way to turn?

The other day I showed up to my five-week oncology check-up. My “Air Traffic Controller”, the one who usually corrals all my weird symptoms into some sort of plan. He’s always been the person I spill everything to, trusting that he can make sense of this chaos. Unfortunately, instead of that familiar “I’ve got you”, I left feeling defeated and broken.

Here’s the situation: I’m having night sweats and random body flushes again. These symptoms normally point to tumors in the GI tract. My last PET scan showed that area to be as clear as a brand new windshield. My lung carcinoid tumor was removed. So why the hell am I sweating like I just ran a marathon in my sleep? I asked for hormone labs, and was told that I needed to talk to my PCP about that. I just felt unheard.

So I came home, settled into the fetal position and cried. Then I dove headfirst into research. Hours of scrolling later, my eyes were practically crossed. That little voice kept screaming “Why me?” I’ve endured plenty. I had PCOS in my teens (back when nobody had a clue what PCOS really was). Then, a surprise hysterectomy catapulted me straight into menopause. I discovered that I was LADA instead of having the type 2 diabetes I was being treated for. Right after, I was diagnosed with Hashimoto’s. It’s like my body has been reading the “Choose Your Own Adventure: Chronic Illness” book. I never got the “You Win” ending.

On top of all that, I’m dealing with a fight with my mom these past couple of weeks. That relationship has always been complicated. It’s full of pressure, guilt and unspoken expectations. So every time we clash, it knocks me off balance. I realized I’ve been holding onto that stress, which probably isn’t helping my night sweats or emotional state.

While Googling through the night, I stumbled on the Our Power Is Within podcast by Chazmith Newton. The episode featuring Dani Fagan discussed TMS- Tension Myositis Syndrome. It’s a mind-body phenomenon where unprocessed emotional strain can manifest as physical symptoms. I sat there thinking, “OMG, could this be real?” Four years ago, after my uterine cancer diagnosis and abrupt menopause, I was a hot mess-figuratively and literally. My mental health was taking hits left and right: diabetes, Hashimoto’s, surgeries. I’ve felt on autopilot for so long.

A friend introduced me to yoga after my hysterectomy, and for a while it was lifesaving. Yoga and meditation became my emotional defibrillator. Life’s craziness- running a salon, juggling medical appointments, and now another surgery-pushed yoga to the back burner. This past week, I forced myself back to the mat. My body was stiff, my mind was a jumble, but I saw it was a restorative class with an instructor I respected. I dragged my stressed-out self there, and it was exactly what I needed. She walked in with marigold oil. She swore it reduced feelings of anxiety and stress. Creating a more grounded emotional state. I felt like the universe nudged me: “You have to be here.”

I let myself breathe, stretch and for a moment, let go of every appointment, every test, and every worst-case scenario. My body whispered, “Let’s rest”, and you know what? I listened.

That very night, I got a voicemail from my oncologist-I’d been heard. He went back, drove into research and ordered hormone labs. I felt heard, and validated.

Now, my focus clear: I need a game plan for my relationship with my mom. I’ve already tried therapy and different approaches- there’s no magic pill here. Right now, my plan is to work on myself. If the healing within me can create space for a healthier dynamic, fantastic. But, my healing can’t wait on that relationship to “fix itself”. I want to keep tending to my own well-being: tracking my symptoms, leaning into yoga, and exploring this TMS concept. I want to feel at home in my body again, regardless of how mom and I work things out.

I’ll keep journaling, nothing when my night sweats spike against the backdrop of stressful interactions. I will show up on that yoga mat, week after week, even when I don’t feel up to it. I’ll celebrate the tiny victories- like making it to that restorative session. I’ll remind myself that I don’t need perfection to move forward.

If you’ve ever felt like your body is waging its own dramatic series of events. If family drama fuels your stress-know this: you’re not alone! You can’t always change how other people behave, but you can invest in your own healing. I’m choosing to listen to those subtle nudges. These nudges might arrive via marigold oil and gentle stretches. Or they could come from the quiet realization that my emotional baggage is tied to these physical symptoms. If I can untangle a few knots, there is a possibility I can learn how to lead this body-brain tango. These knots may come from cancer, hormones, or old family patterns. Instead of being dragged along for the ride, I want to take charge.

So here’s to messy research, showing up for ourselves, and leaning into whatever whispers the universe sends. Because I refuse to let my medical journey or my relationship struggles write the rest of my story. I’m co-writing it- one restorative breath at a time.